8 Common Double Standards in Relationships (With Examples)
Relationships are made on trust, respect, and mutual understanding. However, double standards can often creep in, creating an imbalance that can harm both partners. A double standard in relationships refers to a situation where one partner is held to different expectations or rules than the other. These discrepancies can manifest in various ways, and recognizing them is the first step toward fostering a healthier, more equitable partnership. Here are eight common double standards in relationships and examples to help you identify them.
Expectations Around Emotions
One prevalent double standard in relationships is the expectation that men should be emotionally stoic while women are allowed to express their feelings freely. Society often dictates that men should “man up” and not show vulnerability, leading to a lack of emotional support for them. On the other hand, women are often expected to be nurturing and expressive.
Example:
When Sarah gets upset, her partner, Jake, is always there to comfort her. But when Jake feels overwhelmed and seeks emotional support, Sarah dismisses his feelings, telling him to “toughen up.” This double standard in relationships can create emotional distance and hinder open communication.
Social Life and Friendships
Another common double standard in relationships revolves around socializing. Often, one partner may feel they have the right to spend time with friends, while the other is expected to prioritize the relationship and stay home more.
Example:
John enjoys hanging out with his friends every weekend, but when his girlfriend, Lisa, wants to go out with her friends, he accuses her of neglecting their relationship. This double standard in relationships can breed resentment and create a sense of inequality.
Household Responsibilities
Household chores are another area where double standards in relationships frequently occur. Despite the progress in gender equality, many relationships still adhere to traditional gender roles, expecting women to handle the majority of the household tasks.
Example:
Maria and Alex work full-time, but Maria is expected to cook, clean, and manage the household while Alex relaxes after work. This double standard in relationships stresses Maria and can lead to burnout.
Career Ambitions
Career aspirations can also be a source of double standards in relationships. While men are often encouraged to pursue their professional goals, women may face subtle or overt discouragement, with an expectation to prioritize family over career.
Example:
Emma is passionate about her career and works hard to advance, but her partner, Mike, subtly criticizes her for not being home more often. Meanwhile, Mike’s career ambitions are fully supported, showcasing another double standard in relationships that can stifle personal growth.
Sexual Freedom and Expectations
Sexual double standards in relationships are widespread, with men often praised for being sexually active while women may be judged harshly for the same behavior. This can form a toxic dynamic where one partner feels ashamed or restricted.
Example:
When Tom talks about his past relationships, his girlfriend, Rachel, doesn’t think twice. But when Rachel mentions her past experiences, Tom becomes judgmental and distant, revealing a clear double standard in relationships regarding sexual history.
Financial Contributions
Financial double standards in relationships can be particularly harmful, especially when one partner is expected to contribute more or less based on outdated gender roles or personal biases.
Example:
Chris expects his girlfriend, Sarah, to contribute equally to household expenses even though he earns significantly more than she does. When Sarah asks for a more balanced approach, Chris accuses her of being financially irresponsible. This double standard in relationships can lead to financial stress and a lack of partnership.
Parenting Roles
Parenting is another area where double relationship standards frequently arise. Traditionally, women have been expected to take on most child-rearing responsibilities, while men are often seen as the breadwinners.
Example:
When their child is sick, Emily is expected to take a day off work to care for him, even though both Emily and her husband, Robert, have demanding jobs. This double standard in relationships reinforces outdated gender norms and can strain the relationship.
Jealousy and Trust
Jealousy often reveals double standards in relationships, where one partner feels entitled to privacy while demanding transparency. This unequal approach to trust can erode the foundation of the relationship.
Example:
Mark frequently checks his girlfriend, Tina’s, phone and questions her about her interactions with male friends. However, when Tina asks about a message from a female coworker, Mark becomes defensive and accuses her of being insecure. This double standard in relationships can damage trust and lead to constant conflict.
Conclusion
Double standards in relationships can manifest in many forms, from emotional expectations to career ambitions and household responsibilities. Identifying and addressing these double standards is crucial for fostering a healthy, balanced relationship. Open communication, joint concern, and a willingness to challenge societal norms are essential to overcoming these inequalities. Remember, a strong relationship is built on equality, where both partners are valued and supported in all aspects of life.
